MG Humor

[deltadave]

Not new stuff, but funny just the same.

If your MG is smoking, it's either running or actualy on fire

the only reason Brits drink warm beer is the fridg is made by Lucas

[chimes]

Ha,ha ha,
All those millions spent on developing a pen that would work in space,
the Russians used a pencil!
Your turn!!

[DiDueColpi]

Ok Ok Ok!

Remember the first windstar vans?
They took a van that Nissan couldn't sell (Quest), Put a Ford engine in that wouldn't stay together (3.0 v6) and wrapped it up nicely with Lucas electronics.

Now thats funny!!

[RMO 699F]

Ever wonder why the brits never pursued computer manufacturing?
They could figure out how to design a computer that would leak oil....

[chimes]

OK, that's fair comment!!

[danmas]

All those millions spent on developing a pen that would work in space,
the Russians used a pencil!

Yeah, but the Russians then spent millions developing a pencil sharpener that wouldn't leave graphite dust and pencil shavings floating around the station, gumming up the works.

BTW,  Unionville, TN is only 220 miles from the British V8 meet in Townsend - no excuse for not being there, Dave!

[DiDueColpi]

A little known fact.
Lucas electrical systems actually run on AC current.
It's just that they use a random frequency.

[DiDueColpi]

Got this one from the intertube.
Pretty much explains itself.

[BlownMGB-V8]

Is that still available?

JB

[DiDueColpi]

Yep.
Comes in burnt bakelite, melted wire and oil covered exhaust varieties.

[BlownMGB-V8]

I always liked the "burnt bakelite" variety best.

JB

[DiDueColpi]

I,ve discovered a way to make your own period correct smoke and avoid those nasty shipping and duty charges.

Cheers
Fred

[BlownMGB-V8]

No Fred, you just don't understand. those are "Smoke Extractors". And as we all know, the more smoke you take out of the Lucas Electrics the more the function shifts to alternating current, with the emphasis being more on alternating and the current being not so much.

JB

[Bill Young]

The Lucas definition of Alternating Current is a bit different than most think. For Lucas the current alternates from some to none, usually the duty cycle favors the some side until suitable aging of the components has occured then shifts to the none side. Normally that shift is accompanied by a release of the system smoke as a signal. The only way to know for sure that your system still has the required amount of smoke remaining in it to be on the more reliable side is to find and install the extremely rare Lucas Smoke Test switch as shown in this Sprite.

The owner graciously allowed me to test his system and it indeed let out a tiny amount of smoke from under the dash to let us know that everything was fully charged. What a great device, unfortunately production ended after only a handfull of units were built and no plans exist. I suppose that Lucas was worried that people who could test their systems before total failure wouldn't be buying as many replacement parts.

[BlownMGB-V8]

I heard it was because of the new 2nd Generation Lucas Smoke Check that was built into the rear-view mirror as a high end option only available on a selected number of cars, hence the term: Smoken' Mirrors.

JB

[DiDueColpi]

Actually I believe the new S2 system came about due to emissions regulations.
Around 1976 It was no longer socialy acceptable to release smoke directly into the air.
Lucas, firmly believing that electricity should only flow in spurts and sputters. And only for a select few.
Needed to find a way to continue on with random and complete system failures but with out the smoke.
Fortunately Jaguar was able to come to the rescue with "fuel injection".
Years of research had proved that adding petrol directly to an electrical short provided the needed failure with almost no smoke. The synergistic effect of combining a leak and an electrical fault was brillant!
Later on Range Rover took over the technological lead with the S3 system. Now you could have multiple failures at random times with absolutely no evidence left behind. None of the pesky smoke and fire just complete sudden failure.
Various others have contributed along the way. Ford with the S3.1 and BMW with S3.2 squared. And now we have Tata working on the super smoker SS6.6

Cheers
Fred

[rficalora]

You've been on the sauce again, haven't you Fred?

[Dan B]

I smell smoke....

[DiDueColpi]

Sadly Rob, that's just the normal me.

Cheers
Fred

[chimes]

OK you guys, you win, hands down!
The wiring harness smoke in a jar is hilarious!!!